


The Journal

by RaiFinnigan



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-29
Updated: 2013-09-29
Packaged: 2017-12-27 23:38:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/984997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaiFinnigan/pseuds/RaiFinnigan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Allow me to start this off by saying, once again, I am nobody special. I have not saved the life of someone important. I have earned no rewards for my work. I am no one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Journal

"First Aid's Journal Entry 003: 

Allow me to start this off by saying, once again, I am nobody special. I have not saved the life of someone important. I have earned no rewards for my work. I am no one.

It's been a rough couple of days...and I'm no longer sure if I'm fit for the medibay, let alone to become the CMO. Ratchet thinks I'm ready. Insists on it, actually. But I know I'm not. Have I mentioned Ratchet before? I don't believe I have. Allow me to fill you in.

Ratchet, sometimes referred to as The Hatchet, is the best medic the universe has ever seen. He has personally saved the lives of multiple Primes. There has never been a medic as good as Ratchet, and there never will be. Including myself. I am merely a lone Protectobot, separated from my brothers by the vast reaches of space. 

Ratchet says that I saved everyone on Delphi.....I didn't. He says I was calm under pressure, when my world was falling apart...I wasn't. I looked it, sure. It's not hard to fake. But honestly...I've never been more terrified. Never have I longed more for Hot Spot's warm embrace, Streetwise's stupid jokes (that we all laugh at anyway, just to make him feel better), Groove's comfort and loved filled EMF brushing over my own, or Blades' cutting remarks contradicted by his servo lovingly caressing my helm then I have at that moment when...P-Pharma...(isn't it pathetic that I even have trouble just TYPING his slagging name?) shot the life support system. 

And now...after everything that I have gone through...I have taken a life. Ended one, instead of saving one, as I am meant to do. I shot Pharma, my one time mentor and friend. Blasted his helm off, really. He laughed...about the patients he killed in Delphi...about what he did to Ambulon. He laughed and smiled, thought it was funny. I couldn't take it...I just picked up the gun, aimed, and fired. I feel horrible about it...the guilt eats away at me. I can't recharge...I hear him when I do. Pharma...he taunts me...calls me a murderer. Maybe it's true...maybe I'm just like him now. How am I suppose to take over as CMO? I can't. It's as simple as that. Maybe one day...after I've gotten over this. Can you do that? Just get over killing someone? I don't know...I hope so. I don't want to feel like this for the rest of my function. It's a terrible feeling...."


End file.
